Story: Amish Family Values

The Amish people are very intriguing. Some people would call me an “Amish enthusiast” because I can’t seem to learn enough about them. Their plain lifestyle and peaceful ways are very admirable. After reading almost every book about them that I could get my hands on, and researching their culture for several years, I started taking annual trips to Amish settlements. Last summer, I visited Lancaster County, Pennsylvania. Although there are plenty of “touristy” things to do in Lancaster County, my goal was to do “non-touristy” and “off the beaten path” activities.

Through a mutual friend, I was introduced to the “F” Family of southern Lancaster County (away from all those touristy things). When I met them, they immediately took me in as one of their own and made me feel very welcome during the day I spent at their house. They had just left the Amish church, and were attending a conservative Mennonite church. Their plain clothes, long hair for the girls, and the father’s beard would have made anyone think they were still Amish. Their 7 kids ranged in age from 9 years to 4 months. Since they had recently left the Amish, the concepts of electricity, having a phone in the house and pictures were all new. Most Amish choose to live without electricity, do not have house phones, and do not want their pictures taken, due to their religious beliefs. It was amazing to witness their polite, respectful behavior and the sense of overall calmness in their household. The children had no TV/video games or IPODS. The only music they listened to was Christian music CD’s. The few toys and books scattered about their house and a trampoline out in the yard provided them with entertainment.

I arrived at their home around just before noon that day and was greeted by their 5 year old, who seemed intrigued by this “outsider” who had come to his house. I visited with the kids as they helped their mom set the table and fix lunch. They worked so peacefully with no arguing about their jobs. During lunch, which included homemade cottage cheese and home grown vegetables, the kids had wonderful manners, always using “please” and “thank you.” They helped clean up the dishes without being asked and then went outside to play. “L,” the oldest girl, showed me how she milks their one and only cow “Mandy.” They use Mandy’s milk for their own use, but do not sell it. After meeting Mandy, I got a tour of the house, each child excitedly showing me their sleeping quarters. The 3 girls all shared a room, and the 3 older boys shared another. The baby, was still in a crib in his parent’s room. When he woke up from his nap, the older kids went to tend to him, changing his diaper, while making faces and giggling with him. At first this whole scene unfolding before me seemed too good to be true. I had to realize that families like this really DO exist. Being polite, respectful and helpful is the natural thing to do. Mr. and Mrs. “F” teach their children these traits by example. There is no yelling or intimidation, just the simple example set by the parents. They also learn to love, and that when you marry, it is for life. In the Amish community, there is no divorce. These children probably do not know any kids who’s parents are divorced. Wow!

During the day I spent with this family, not once did I witness any bickering, name calling, boredom or arguing. They seemed so content and at peace. They probably have never witnessed any rude language, yelling or disrespectful behavior, partly because they do not own a TV. They do not need all the gadgets kids in our society have to entertain themselves. These children knew how to entertain themselves and the older children were content to entertain the younger ones. It was obvious they loved and respected their parents and wanted to please them. The refrigerator was covered with crayon drawings and and lots of “I love you’s”. They eat together 3 times a day, do their chores together, play games together, and attend church. Thus, they actually talk to each other and really know each other. What fortunate kids to grow up in a home where they know they will be cared for by both parents and have the company of many siblings.

As I drove away that day, I felt very blessed to have met such an incredible family. I only wish more people could have such an opportunity. In our fast paced, technological society, we can learn a lot by slowing down and remembering what really is important. The “F” family taught me just that.