List: What’s In Store At The Shore - A Jersey Summer Style Guide

The beauty of venturing south on the NJ Parkway this time of year is not just the feel soft white sand beaches under your toes, or the taste of tongue melting salt-water taffy, or the thrill of walking off the boardwalk with a stuffed animal trophy – it’s that everything you see, touch, hear, & smell radiates original, stand-out style, even when it’s ripping off someone else’s, or just relaxing in your "whites" on Memorial Day.

Whether you are planning your first trip, or looking for some inspiration to get out of the City for a long weekend, check these style nuggets I dug up on my recent trip to L.B.I. over Memorial Day Weekend for a taste of what the Jersey Shore has in store:

L.B.I. – What’s in a Name? - Take Exit 63 off the Parkway to 72 East until it ends, and there you will find one of the biggest sand-bars in the country, 18 miles long to be exact. Long ago someone called it Long Beach Island, and the name stuck, until the Jersey style council mandated nicknames for any generically named places in 1972. In Jersey, and in the absence of a good story behind it, initials make fine nicknames.

Son of a Beach - Why just call it a “beach” when every other coastal town in the country calls it that? No, the beach in Jersey was ordained to be more special than Delaware or New York by the Catholic Bishop’s son, Sal, back in the 20s. Smitten by the endearing local accent, and armed with a Webster’s Thesaurus, he blessed the coast of New Jersey as “The Shore”. So when you tell people where you are headed for Labor Day, act like you know.

Daisy Dukes for Dudes - Do not, I repeat, do not go to the shore expecting a “cutoffs” sighting. While it is true that dudes with long hair have been known to go swimming in daisy dukes despite the amount of time they take to dry afterward, it is rare. If you do spot a pair, consider it your lucky day, and head straight to the Fantasy Island Arcade and drop your quarter into the machine – any machine, really, no one ever wins. Write that quarter off.

T-shirts That Tell Somebody Off - Let’s face it – if you aren’t cut, you have no business wearing a tank top, so don’t even go there. T-shirts are fine, as long as the words on the front tell someone something they don’t already know. The more arresting the message the better, and strategic use of color to drive the point home is essential. I had a female passerby scream at me to “START WEARING PURPLE NOW!!!” and two weeks later, no matter how I try, I can’t get her or her obnoxious shirt out of my head. Nice one.

Small Wave Surf Stylie - Take a left once you hit the island, and you’ll come to a town called Surf City. So what if there are no waves. Surfing is cool, and so are the people who look like they grew up in California. Stop off at Ron Jon’s Original Surf Shop and don’t miss out on NJ’s one and only global surf brand. I guarantee that only at Ron Jon’s will you find flannel board shorts. Perfect for looking dope while lounging around, but like ‘cutoffs’, probably take a while to dry.

Beads & Rope Make A Dope Choker - A big part of style at the Jersey Shore is that you have to really feel it. If you’re not feeling it, then no one is really going to notice you. Trust me. So, if you wind up down at L.B.I. looking for that convenient spark to get you noticed, head to Bay Village, pick out any one of the woven rope/string/beaded necklaces or bracelets and tie it on TIGHT. Leave no room for dangling. Seriously, if it doesn’t leave a mark everyone will know that you must not be feeling it.

Yo, How You Brewin? - In a town called Ship Bottom there lives the “How You Brewin?” Café. Never has there been a coffee shop whose name embodied the true style of a place. The people serving cups of Joe behind the counter did not look like they were in the Sopranos or in the disposal business, but witness relocation programs can be deceiving.

When White Isn’t Such a Feau Pax Anymore - Memorial Day Weekend, baby. That’s right, once Memorial Day Weekend hits, it’s time to dust off those white shorts & pants and strut your stuff around the yard sale circuit. This yearly fashion tradition never changes. Like clockwork, white comes back in style the same day every year at the Jersey Shore, and people are bustin it out to kickstart the summer mood.

The Hermit Crab Makeover - It is a little known fact that hermit crabs still make fantastic summer pets, and the Surf City 5 & 10 is still the place to get yours. After a brief decline in popularity in the late ‘90s, the hermit crab scene started to pick up again when a 14 year old retail merchandising prodigy from Garwood named Elliott painted Spongebob onto the shell of an unsuspecting crab. Now every crab in the bin has an alter-ego or an NFL team sponsor – and thus the industry was reborn.

First You Burn, Then You Tan, Then You Cruise - If you want to get a real tan that only lasts the weekend, then conveniently forget to put on sunscreen for the entire second day of your trip. Trust me, it’s a local secret. This way, you can head out on Saturday & Sunday night with that trademark early-summer, 3-day weekend red-cheek glow that looks amazing underneath the fluorescent streetlamps while stopped in traffic at yet another red light coming up on your 5th lap down the main strip, scanning the cars for just a little eye contact. Awe yeah, mission accomplished.

Just Chill Out – If you’re not into calling attention to yourself, that’s cool too. No one is going to penalize you for being chill. In fact, it’s appreciated. Less competition, less noise, less stress, all good.

Stay True to Your Roots - The thing I love most about Jersey Shore style is that the people don’t stray from the core of who they are, nor do they hide it. You can be who you are, and be it in all your glory. From loud to quiet, purple to plain white. During Memorial Day Weekend down on Long Beach Island, everyone’s flags were flying high to kick off the summer season in their own personal style. Why not bring yours.