How To: A Girl's Guide to Using the Asian Squatty Potty

All of the guide books make reference to it; the Asian toilet a.k.a. Squatty Potty. Sure the guide books refer to it, but no one from Lonely Planet is telling you how to use it beyond telling you to bring hand sanitizer. There is no diagram; you are on your own ladies. So for all of the western women out there that are planning to travel to Asia, read on.

My experience of learning to pee in a squatty potty came over much trial and error (and wet shoes and pant cuffs unfortunately). Over the past few months and a few Southeast Asian countries I became somewhat proficient at squatty potty usage and have even come to prefer it once I learned the ‘right’ way to squat!

Before I get to the anticipated details, there’s one important thing to always remember; whenever possible try to carry some sort of toilet paper with you at all times. In an Asian ‘western’ toilet or real squatty potty situation there is never toilet paper provided. I have no idea why. The only reason I can come up with is that the plumbing can’t handle excessive paper usage, so one way to control that is to not provide it. Or maybe Thailand just has a shortage of paper products as evidenced by their tiny napkins in restaurants.

The Asian ‘Western’ Toilet:
This toilet looks familiar; it looks like ours, a throne to sit on. You may be all excited to encounter one of these if you’ve been traveling for a few weeks in Asia. As you are sitting doing your business, you look around and notice there’s a toilet paper holder (but no toilet paper of course. I hope that you brought your own as I had advised), there’s a large bucket of water beneath a water spout, and there is a small trash can. The bucket will have a smaller scoop/dipper floating in it.

All of these items are important; they aren’t just there for looks as I had once thought. Don’t be fooled by the western looking toilet. Sure you can sit, however the plumbing in most of these is not very good. Therefore it doesn’t necessarily mean that the flusher actually works. Flushers are just there for decoration to make you less ‘homesick’. Instead, once you have completed your business and dug your own toilet paper out of your pocket, don’t throw it in the stool! You are supposed to throw it in the little trash can. Then go to the bucket of water and use the ’scoop’ floating in the water to fill up and pour down the toilet. Do this 2 or 3 times (you can use your own judgment on this) and this creates a natural flushing mechanism. If you are really polite in toilet etiquette, you may take note of how much water is left in the bucket and if it’s low, turn on the spout and fill it up for the next person. You have now mastered the Asian ‘Western’ toilet. Granted, in nicer hotels you don’t have to worry about this, but it’s still good to know when you are out of your western bubble!

The Asian Squatty Potty:
This toilet is basically a porcelain hole in the ground raised up off the floor about 4 inches. There is no flushing mechanism associated with this, so you will find the typical spout, bucket of water, and dipper to ‘flush’ (see above). The squatty potties are not meant to have toilet paper put down them so definitely use the trash can that is conveniently placed nearby! Upon first entering the foreign abode, you will be confused. Do you stand over the hole? Do you squat over the hole? What about the splash-factor? What if you are wearing flip flops? Where do you stand? So many questions! I have experienced them all!

The first thing to know is that you should stand on the place where there are ‘foot rests’, normally signified by little foot platforms on the porcelain structure itself. I’ve made the mistake of putting my feet outside the edges of the porcelain structure and it just doesn’t work as well, trust me. Next you try to get your pants out of the drop zone as best you can. Next is the part I struggled with; how to squat. I first would try squatting slightly, kind of like working out at a gym and doing squats with your trainer. However, you’ll quickly find out that this still leaves about 3 feet between you and the actual toilet which directly affects the splash factor. Just use your high school physics, the longer the drop, the more the splash. You don’t want to come out of the bathroom with your pant legs all wet - or worse, your shoes all squishy; it’s not fun, I’ve been there.

You’ll want to reduce the distance between your ass and the toilet. The best way to describe this position is to get in a catcher’s stance; just like you are Jorge Posada, ready to receive the pitch from the mound. Now if you are actually standing on the right spot on the squatty potty (on the porcelain footrests) and you are looking like a major league baseball catcher, then you will look down and realize you are in the best possible position to pee.

After your done, use your own toilet paper that you brought and put it in the nearby trash can. Then scoop water out of the nearby bucket and pour it down the squatty potty a few times. I swear, there were a few times that I poured it over my feet as I hadn’t mastered the shorter drop zone at that point.

I know you are all wondering, what about #2? Simply assume the catcher’s stance again, make sure you bring your toilet paper, and know that you may have to refill the bucket for your manual ‘flushing’; it takes a few scoopfuls of water to flush.

I still remember the day I finally figured this all out. It was an epiphany. I was so damn proud of myself I wanted to burst! I was at a bus terminal in Chiang Mai and had to use the public toilet. Bus terminal restrooms are the big leagues. I bought my toilet paper for 3 baht, and went in. I decided to try the catcher’s stance for the first time, since nothing else had seemed to work so far. As I was down in my best catcher’s position, it was then that I noticed it. In front of me on the stall door there was some Thai writing…right at my eye level. Eureka! I had found the sweet spot! They put writing here because that’s where your eye level is supposed to be!
I came out of that public restroom a new woman feeling successful. I wanted to share my finding with all of the tourists in the bus station. It was then that I decided that I could probably make a little diagram for westerners and sell it outside of the public toilet for about 10 baht; it was certainly more valuable than toilet paper! Who knows, maybe that will be my next big business idea; Squatty Potty Cliff Notes with diagram.

So - there it is - the instructions that Lonely Planet never gave you. Hopefully this information came in handy. Happy bowel movements to you all!